No one wants the new iPhone

The fruity cargo cult Apple is having a bad time in China as punters no longer want an expensive slice of the American dream.

They wear out you know

Popular beat combo singer Dua Lipa had a “revealing” interview with Apple CEO Tim Cook in which he revealed that he thought that people were using their smartphones too much.

Ready for the new iPad Pro

The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn which claims that the fruity cargo cult Apple is ready to begin production of OLED displays for its next-gen iPad Pro in February 2024.

Tame Apple Press recoils in horror

The Tame Apple Press is shocked after Samsung humiliated their favourite tech company by introducing a new generative AI model long before Jobs’ Mob could claim to have invented it.

You need an iPhone to defend against car thieves

Washington D.C. plans to give residents Apple AirTags to help officers track down stolen vehicles.

Cupertino sweeteners might cause diabetes

The California Department of Tax and Fee Administration (CDTFA) is retrospectively changing Apple’s arrangement with Cupertino because it is too good for Jobs’ Mob.

Ironic don’t cha think

The outfit which is currently being sued for supplying stalkers with tracking devices, Apple told a court that Android was a great big tracking device.

Slight improvements but it nothing to do with the design

While the Tame Apple Press is telling the world+dog that Apple's new M3 processors will cure cancer the Geekbench 6 benchmark tells a slightly different story.

Entry level hardware for the price of an expensive computer

Fruity cargo cult Apple’s "Scary Fast" event turned out to be pushing an over-priced “entry-level” laptop with one of its over-hyped M3 in-house chips on board.

Trick or Treat

Apple has announced a Mac event for 30 October with the caption "Scary Fast" in which it is expected to exhume its M3 series MacBook Pro models to the illiterate cawing of the Tame Apple Press ravens.