The Vole is claiming record breaking sales, I mean pre-orders, of its highly anticipated Halo 3 game. Over a million pre-orders and still more than a month to go, since the game is slated to appear on September 25.

Chris Di Cesare, Microsoft’s director of creative marketing, says, “This September, Halo 3 will push video game entertainment into the forefront of mainstream culture.” Yes it will, but not just thanks to the game, as Redmond and a bunch of other household names are cashing in even before the game hits the shelves.

Here's a few happy Microsoft buddies raking in the merchandising buck. Burger King is to offer a bunch of healthy and nutricious dishes for the kids. Halo 3 lovers can then wash down the fat and salt with Pepsi's Mountain Dew Game Fuel. If that's not enough, 7-11 is offering Halo-themed Slurpee cups to sweaten the deal.



Of course, no gaming get-together is complete without Doritos and (quite) a few beers. Once you're drunk and full of fat, salt and sugar, it's time to go home, so jump into your Halo 3 Pontiac and download some Halo 3 stuff from Comcast while driving.

I can already see a bunch of soccer moms squeezing the hands of their Haloized 200-pound-12-year-olds and sueing the hell out of Microsoft. Not that Microsoft would be to blame for their kid's obesity, but bad parents tend to find excuses for their own shortcoming in video games, TV, music, or just about anything else they can sue.