Homeland Security goes nuts
Two British blokes heading to the US on holiday were turned back at the airport by US Homeland security because officers did not like what some of they had sad on Twitter.
Apparently Security officers did not really understand that when 26-year-old Leigh Van Bryan said on Twitter that he was going to “destroy America” he meant that he was going to drink himself into a coma and fail to pull any women. This is what British males usually do when they are on holiday, lacking much imagination to do anything else.
However to Homeland Security that meant that the pair were going to hijake a plane and fly it into a landmark. We see how how the two phrases might have been confused. One was the colloquial English meaning and the other was the paranoid delusions of a country that thinks it is important. The tweet read, “Free this week, for quick gossip/prep before I go and destroy America?” Needless to say the American interpretation has always to be right so they threw Van Bryan and his friend Emily Bunting, 24, in a cell for 12 hours before sending them back to Europe the following day.
Other crimes that Homeland security feared they might see was another tweet where he claimed he might “dig up Marilyn Monroe”. Van Bryan said that officials were looking through his baggage for a shovel and asking his friend whether she was going to act as a lookout while Leigh dug up Monroe. Munroe was not actually buried so digging her up would be fairly silly. Bunting told the Daily Mail that she almost burst out laughing when they asked me if she was going to be Leigh’s lookout while he dug up Marilyn Monroe.
“We just wanted to have a good time on holiday. That was all Leigh meant in his tweet. He would not hurt anyone.”
What she failed to understand is that the US hates the rest of the world and does not want any more tourism. How else could they explain Los Angeles airport.