Published in AI

New survey proves iPad users are brain dead

by on12 April 2012



Switch off life support nurse


A new survey conducted by ChangeWave Research has finally managed to prove that iPad users are really stupid.

According to the survey, iPad users were so taken with their new toy that they would take it with them if they were stranded on a desert island. So that means that faced with a choice of a good book or something meaningful, or suitable shoes, as your Italian cruiseliner goes down an Apple fanboy would be packing their iPad in a water-proof container.

Fortunately for the state of humanity this would mean that iPad users would be the least likely to survive if marooned on a desert island. For a start their iPad would not connect to anything after all it would be out of 3G range.  If you could connect then chances are you would not be marooned for very long. The iPad would run out of battery within about six hours of use and become about as useful on a desert island as a piece of wood.  With a bit of luck you could use the reflecting surface to attract the attention of an aircraft but we would have thought there would have been much better things to pack.

We guess that Apple fanboys thought that their desert island would be a nice hotel. According to the survey more than four-out-of-five new iPad owners say they are Very Satisfied with the device.  Another 16 per cent say they’re Somewhat Satisfied.

But the things they didn't like about it include the cost of the device and the Cost of the Wireless Data Plan.  However at least you don't have to worry about paying that while you are on a desert island.

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