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Ballmer to release glorious five year plan

Not going to quit

Microsoft Chief Executive Steve “Benzino Napaloni” Ballmer is about to release his glorious five year plan to restore the glorious Microsoft Empire and its Microsoftia Irredenta to its former glory.

Word on the street is that he will internally outline his Credere Obbedire Combattere restructuring of the software giant by July 1. Benzino Ballmer has been hatching out his plans with a small synarch of advisors made up of Redmond’s elite and some board members.

This has sparked a few rumours at Microsoft that a few managers might be purged as Ballmer looks to make Microsoft a “devices and services company.”

Ballmer is expected to speak about his plans to a larger group of senior executives just before Microsoft’s fiscal year comes to a close. It is fairly likely that a public announcement will be made then.

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