Published in News

Mormons team up with Apple to annoy people

Two cults knocking on your door

When a Mormon missionary knocks on your door or hassles you on the street chances are he will be carrying the tools of the Apple Cargo cult in a bid to convert you. What has placed Apple in the unlikely missionary position is the fact that Mormons can’t get enough iPad tablets.

According to the ABC News report, the Mormon Church is planning to provide 32,000 missionaries with iPad Minis to help them spread the gospel and deliver on their other duties. The church started a test programme last autumn with 6,500 iPad Mini-equipped missionaries serving in the United States and Japan. Since that went well, the church decided to expand the initiative and eventually have the specially configured iPad Minis in the hands of many more missionaries by early 2015.

David F. Evans, director of the church’s missionary department said that using the iPad minis has proved an effective tool for missionaries to communicate with church leaders and keep in touch with people who have expressed interest in joining the Mormon Church.

So in other words Apple truly has found its niche. Not only do its fanboys annoy people trying to convert them, now its products will be in the hands of de-caffinated, virgin American kids trying to peddle a religion based on a bloke who thought he had magic stones. It is counterproductive of course, we release the hounds on anyone who knocks on the door carrying Apple gear, whatever they are selling.

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