Apple now getting bad reviews
Published in News


Tame Apple Press is miffed


When Apple releases an inferior product, traditionally the Tame Apple Press wades in to hawk it. It seems that the reviewers of Apple’s current batch of products did not get the memo.

Never mind the polar bears, repairing iPhones is bad
Published in Mobiles

 
Apple environmental officer sees nothing wrong with stopping people repairing their phones

The fruity cargo cult Apple’s environmental officer must have a conflict of interest when it comes to keeping the planet safe when she works for an outfit whose sole reason for being is flogging overpriced toys to rich kids and making profits.

iPhone 8 launch a disaster
Published in Mobiles


No one wants to queue for animated poo

Apple’s iPhone 8 launch day has been a disaster with hardly anyone showing up.

Apple admits its new Watch 3 is borked
Published in Wearables


Wants you to pay for it any way

Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has admitted that its new Apple 3 watch is borked but it is going to sell it to Apple fanboys at the end of the week anyway.

Tame Apple Press claims that iPhone’s margins are not obscene
Published in Mobiles


Yeah right


The Tame Apple Press is going overboard to try to convince the world that Apple is not really forcing its users to pay a high margin.

Apple punishes UK fanboys for their iPhone support
Published in Mobiles


You will have to pay £249 more than the rest of the world

Fruity Cargo cult Apple has decided that it really hates its UK fanboys and is making them pay £249 more than Americans for the new iPhone X.

Linux Foundation President uses Apple OS
Published in News


While claiming that this year was the year of the Linux desktop

Jim Zemlin, President of the Linux Foundation, appears to have hit levels of fail unprecedented in the open saucy world.

Advertisers fume as Apple blocks cookies
Published in News


No cookies on this Safari 

The biggest advertising organisations say Apple will "sabotage" the current economic model of the internet with plans to integrate cookie blocking technology into the new version of Safari.

Apple comes up with bizarre excuse for faulty iPhone X
Published in News


Others are not supposed to look at your phone

The fruity cargo-cult Apple, yeah you heard it first here,  is famous for its "dog ate my homework" excuses when its overpriced technology suffers from design flaws – normally blaming the customers.

Apple sued over Beats advertising
Published in Wearables


Shonky, and grossly overpriced court told

The fruity cargo-cult Apple is not having a good week - not only has its iPhone X launch been greeted with howls of derision, now it has been sued over the advertising for its overpriced Beats headphones.