Let's make our phone look like a handgun
While a big chunk of Americans don't believe Darwin's theories, it seems that Apple fanboys are doing their best to remove themselves from the genepool.
You can't afford us any more, see ya
While Greece is worried about having to give all their cash to the Germans, at least they will not have to worry about its citizens wasting their money on Apple's latest musical gimmick.
Three malwares could wipe out all things Apple
Apple's faith based security system could end up smashing every iPhone and IPad in the world and thus saving the world.
What were we thinking?
Wall Street Analysts are suddenly waking up to the fact that they made some career killing predictions over Apple's iWatch.
Apparently has been reading Fudzilla
Hollywood has dared to make a film which tells the truth about the fruity cargo Apple's profit Steve Jobs.
Looks like that tablet idea was really daft
The world's most popular operating system is still Windows 7, as Microsoft really regrets wasting its time with a tablet interface in Windows 8.
Wall Street speaks heresy
A top Wall Street money man Julian Robertson has committed religious heresy against the Apple Cult by claiming that its latest CEO Tim Cook was actually better than its mystical fruity founder Steve Jobs.
Still refuses to confess because it insists it is not evil.
Fruity cargo cult Apple has lost its appeal against conviction for conspiring with publishers to raise the price of e-books but is still refusing to admit it could have done anything wrong.
Wants to rival the Berlin Zoological Garden
Apple's favour supplier Foxconn (Hon Hai Precision Industry) chairman Terry Guo who once called his staff animals and himself as the Zookeeper, claims his company will be the largest OEM/ODM for handsets, tablets and desktops in 2015.