Analyst realises that Apple watch is a lemon
Published in News


Sales forcasts slashed

Analysts have finally started to wake up to the fact that Apple is probably attempting to flog a lemon with its iWatch.

Quanta denies iWatch a challenge
Published in News


Yields will be fine

The dark satanic rumour mill has been churning out yarns claiming that Jobs' Mob's iWatch was suffering from poor yield rates at the Quanta plant.

Apple fesses up to Tattoo Gate
Published in Wearables


We don't make watches for the likes of you

Apple has taken the unusual step of admitting that if you have tattoos then the iWatch will not work for you.

IWatch has defective component
Published in Wearables


You get what you pay for

Fruity cargo cult Apple's iWatch has shipped with a crucial component which was later found to be broken.

Apple bans iWatches from telling the time
Published in Wearables


Apple mean time only

Fruity Cargo cult Apple believes that only it has the right to tell its users the time of day. Apple has updated its App Store Review Guidelines to prevent developers from creating Apple Watch apps that display the time.

Apple results show weaknesses
Published in News


OK for now, but still no plan

Apple released some reasonable results which seem to show that in the long term the company could be facing trouble.

LG Watch Urbane LTE retail price is $365
Published in Wearables


A dollar a day 

On the day when Apple is going to take most of the headlines with its low key iWatch launch, LG has bravely announced its own version of the wearable technology.

Is the iWatch  a damp squib?
Published in News


Apple bans non-existant queues

Apple launched its iWatch today and you would be forgiven if you failed to notice.

Apple set to make killing from iWatch
Published in Wearables


There really is no hope for humanity

While anyone with any technical sense has placed the iWatch on "avoid," Apple has already made $3 billion on the chocolate teapot tech.

Apple watch has availability problems
Published in Wearables


Might still be vapourware

While the Tame Apple Press is telling anyone that listens that there will be millions of iWatches flogged, it seems that the overpriced toy will not be as available as many think.