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Apple fanboy arrested for shocking crime

by on15 July 2015


Stealing electricity to feed his hungry phone

An Apple Fanboy is furious that the UK transport police did not seem to understand that his ownership of a Jobs' Mob gadget gave him the right to steal electricity from the train company to power the device. 

Robin Lee, a 45-year-old artist based in Islington, was handcuffed and taken to a British Transport Police station on Caledonian Road after his arrest for "abstracting electricity".

In true Apple fanboy style he objected to the charge and was then arrested on a second offence of "unacceptable behaviour" after "becoming aggressive" when objecting to his prior arrest. We are not sure why he was not booked for being smug in a built up area.

Lee apparently had noticed that the train he was on had a power socket and because his iPhone6 uses more power than Cern, he thought he would get a recharge. Of course the lights dimmed and the train slowed to a crawl, but that is all part of the Apple design spec. Actually we made that bit up.

Electricity sockets on Overground trains are clearly marked with the words: "cleaners use only and not for public use" but following his role model Steve Jobs (who thought traffic laws did not apply to him) Lee did it anyway.

Speaking to the Evening Standard, Lee said he was confronted by a police community support officer who said that he was abstracting electricity.

"She kept saying it's a crime. We were just coming into the station and there happened to be about four police officers on the platform."

Abstracting electricity is an offence under section 13 of the Theft Act 1968. It carries a maximum custodial sentence of five years.

Unfortunately the Apple fanboy was later "de-arrested" on the electricity charge but still faces a charge of being a twat and being incredibily annoying... er unacceptable behaviour.  If it gets to court and he is convicted, there are a lot of Apple fanboys who are going to face jail time. 

This is the second Apple fanboy who believed his purchase of an iPhone meant he could do what he liked.

Last week, 19-year-old Nick Silvestri jumped on stage before a Broadway play in an attempt to charge his phone. The idiot saw a fake phone socket which was part of the set and tried to get a charge. Of course the stage lights dimmed and all the lights in Broadway went dark... actually we made that bit up too.

Silvestri's excuse was too deluded to believe. He said his phone had 5 per cent left as "girls were calling all day". Everyone knows Apple fanboys are only called by their mums and besides the iPhone 6 will be out of battery pretty sharpish of a lot of people called.  Unfortunately because he was white at this was America he was not shot or beaten to death in a police cell.

Last modified on 15 July 2015
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