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Iran’s fear of breasts broke the internet in Hong Kong

by on10 January 2017


World swept into Iran’s battle with the Bazongas

Iran has a big problem with female breasts and one day decided that people on the internet should not be allowed to view them.

Obviously, the fundamentalist country could not stop westerners observing a pair of the devil’s dumplings, after all internet censorship is only something that can be done in backward or autocratic places like Saudi Arabia, China and the United Kingdom.

But there was a problem. Apparently, God did not want Iranians seeing the breasts he created, so the Iranians decided he also wanted Iranian fear of Twin Peaks exported.

Iran has managed to block porn sites in Russia, Hong Kong and other nations in the region. On the plus side those regions were all saved from going to an Iranian hell which is apparently reserved for those who think Mammaries are a bad thing.

The question was how did Iran managed to get its Tata ban to affect sites in Hong Kong or Russia?

The issue was caused by an ancient and insecure part of the internet called the Border Gateway Patrol. It is used by ISPs to handle routing information.

The only problem is that BGP kind of works on an honour system. There is no way to stop someone from putting forth a false routing path and taking a site down. It has happened before, but this was mostly by accident.

In this case the Iranians appear to have deliberately used BGP to spoof traffic away from a few hundred porn sites, the false routes spread -- blocking users as far away as Hong Kong.

The mother of all battles against boobies was over as soon as it began. Exterior networks blocked the false routes and the cyber crusade went the way of all crusades.

Last modified on 10 January 2017
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