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Reviewers pan Apple's "Planet of the Apps"

by on08 June 2017


Apple’s reality TV show is about as bad as you would expect

Apple’s debut into the world of original television programming shows that its self-obsession and lack of self-awareness make for dire telly.

Apple felt that the world was ready for it to show off its skills and make some original content. It had to be “Apple friendly” and still interest those users that it really does not like. What could go wrong?

Well according to even the most sympathetic reviewers in the Tame Apple press, the show is really dire.

The idea is to bring app developers in a competition to try to get mentoring and assistance from hosts Jessica Alba, will.i.am, Gwyneth Paltrow and entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk. Now call me odd but I really would not think Gwyneth and Jessica know that much about programming and, try as I may, I have not ever been able to find the point of will.i.am.

Contestants describe their proposals as they ride an escalator down onto a stage where the judges sit, and then fire questions at the app developer.

Variety said the "Planet of the Apps" feels like something that was developed at a cocktail party, and not given much more rigorous thought or attention after the pitcher of mojitos was drained. It's it's a bland, tepid, barely competent knock-off of " Shark Tank," moaned the magazine.

“Apple made its name on game-changing innovations, but this show is decidedly not one of them. The program's one slick innovation is the escalator pitch,” it added.

The show makes too many assumptions. The first one is that you will know who everyone is, when they are only famous for supporting Apple to the point of naming their own children after the company. The second assuming is that you will care about  Apple’s development process and believe it is a way to make money. Most developers of Apps for the fruity cargo cult would rather be doing something else like gouging their own eyes out with spoons. Apple does not make the creation process that easy and takes a way a big chunk of money for its lack of co-operation.

All up this shows the arrogance and narcissism of Apple in its rotting corpse glory. A sensible outfit would have spent the money having someone who knew what they were doing product a show.  Apple gets more positive publicity from its product placement on shows like Grim than it would ever get for this pile of tosh.

Last modified on 08 June 2017
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