Fruit themed toymaker Apple has hired Fudzilla staffer Nick Farrell to help out with its Public Relations.

Apparently the outfit is concerned that its policy of using mentally challenged fanboys to intimidate press is not working in the EU where sales are starting to slump as the recession bites.

Speaking from his sick bed Steve Jobs said that the policy worked well in the United States where the IT press was obsessed with shiny objects and where fanboys could carry guns.

However in Europe where people had more sense, magazines, like Fudzilla revealed how stupid the whole edifice was.

In paying Nick Farrell huge wodges of cash to advise us, we are hoping that we can come up with a message that the whole of Europe can relate too,” Jobs said. While it was true that Farrell had angered Apple in the past, and had been the victim of many fanboy death threats, Jobs said that for that sort of cash he appeared to be prepared to let bygones be bygones.

Apparently Farrell is designing a wave of marketing that involves telling the truth about Apple instead and has retired the fanboy hatemail botnet.

We will be telling punters that the stuff is expensive, but it is easier to use, because it can't do as much. The theme will be “Apple, computers for the stupid,” Farrell tells us.

He is also reversing the policy of not admitting that there is something wrong with Apple products.

For a long time Apple has stuck its fingers in its ears and gone la la la if its computers caught fire or bent. We are going to tell the world that if something goes wrong we will fix it without arsing about. This will add considerable value to the Apple brand,” Farrell said.

Farrell starts work, today, April 1st.