No one wants to queue for animated poo
Apple’s iPhone 8 launch day has been a disaster with hardly anyone showing up.
Wants you to pay for it any way
Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has admitted that its new Apple 3 watch is borked but it is going to sell it to Apple fanboys at the end of the week anyway.
The Tame Apple Press is going overboard to try to convince the world that Apple is not really forcing its users to pay a high margin.
You will have to pay £249 more than the rest of the world
Fruity Cargo cult Apple has decided that it really hates its UK fanboys and is making them pay £249 more than Americans for the new iPhone X.
While claiming that this year was the year of the Linux desktop
Jim Zemlin, President of the Linux Foundation, appears to have hit levels of fail unprecedented in the open saucy world.
No cookies on this Safari
The biggest advertising organisations say Apple will "sabotage" the current economic model of the internet with plans to integrate cookie blocking technology into the new version of Safari.
Others are not supposed to look at your phone
The fruity cargo-cult Apple, yeah you heard it first here, is famous for its "dog ate my homework" excuses when its overpriced technology suffers from design flaws – normally blaming the customers.
Shonky, and grossly overpriced court told
The fruity cargo-cult Apple is not having a good week - not only has its iPhone X launch been greeted with howls of derision, now it has been sued over the advertising for its overpriced Beats headphones.
To use some of the features you paid for you have to buy more stuff
Fruity cargo cult Apple is trying to flog an incredibly over-priced Iphone X but it seems that its $1000 starting price does not include important things like a charger.