Lizard on Board
Fruity cargo cult Apple is apparently part of the Lizard inspired illuminati cover-up of the 9/11 terrorist plot.
Launches its own music streaming service
The Search Engine Google has forced the fruity retailer of overpriced toys onto the back foot by releasing a free version of its music streaming service for a fraction of the price.
Just like its users
Taiwan's top Apple analyst has released a prediction that the next iPhones will be thicker than the last—0.2 mm thicker.
Apple overlords are amateurs
When Fruity Cargo Cult Apple bought Beats headphones it was not clear how much of a marriage in hell the arrangement was. While Apple was famous for its obscenely high profit margins it was a bunch of amateurs in comparison to Dr Dre.
People didn't want it
Apple has made the admission that people don't want the "original" iPad mini and have killed it off.
Has a scary bug
More than 600 million Samsung phones may be vulnerable to attacks that allow hackers to surreptitiously monitor the camera and microphone, read incoming and outgoing text messages, and install malicious apps.
How dare you sue us!
Jobs' Mob has shown its petty side after it pulled the licence for Monster Cable to make expensive wires for its expensive toys.
Maybe some idiot will buy them
Apple mysteriously has enough iWatches on hand to start putting them in its own stores.
Go directly to jail do not collect $200
Fruity cargo cult Apple has found that its anti-competitive practices of forcing telcos to do what they are told do not go down well in Taiwan.