PC sales continue to decline
Published in News
Friday, 12 January 2018 16:19

PC sales continue to decline


Particularly in the USA

Analysts at Gartner released data that showed PC sales continue to fall, although the outfit said there are some “causes for optimism”.

Iphone grassed up Apple fanboy
Published in Mobiles
Friday, 12 January 2018 12:05

Iphone grassed up Apple fanboy


Health app not so cool if you want to rape and kill someone

An Apple fanboy is regretting installing Apple’s health app on his phone.

HarperCollins settles over Jobs' cartel
Published in News
Wednesday, 10 January 2018 11:09

HarperCollins settles over Jobs' cartel


Canadian deal brings chapter to an end

A rather nasty chapter in Steve Jobs' biography has finally drawn to a close after publisher HarperCollins has agreed to donate $120,000 in books as part of a settlement with a Canadian law enforcement agency.

Apple investigated for “planned obsolescence”
Published in News


French do not like the idea of battery throttling

Officer of the lure, Inspector Clouseau, is taking on his biggest case to bring down the fruity cargo cult Apple.

Apple shareholders call for an end to iPhone addiction
Published in Mobiles


Want Apple to be less cultish


Apple shareholders, who do not really understand what they have been buying, want Jobs’ Mob to stop encouraging product addiction.

Apple stuffed as sales people start telling the truth
Published in Mobiles


Tame Apple Press furious


The Tame Apple Press is furious that truthful sales people are undermining all the efforts it made to make the iPhone X look super cool and value for money.

Sorry Europe Apple $29 battery deal is for English-speakers only
Published in News


Europeans have to upgrade or be throttled

It is impressive how easily Apple shuts up journalists. Jobs' Mob managed to convince the tame Apple Press that it was not evil for throttling old iPhones by dropping the cost of battery replacement – but it seems only English and American Apple fanboys will be given the discount.

SEC tells Apple to listen to shareholders
Published in News
Thursday, 04 January 2018 12:03

SEC tells Apple to listen to shareholders


Must listen to a proposal about human rights

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has been told that it must listen to its shareholders when they ask it to adopt policies that encourage human rights.

Apple has shot itself in the foot
Published in News
Thursday, 04 January 2018 11:24

Apple has shot itself in the foot


Battery issues will damage 2018 sales

The fruity cargo-cult Apple’s moves to throttle the speed of iPhones with old batteries will damage its 2018 sales, according to Barclays Bank analysts.

Tower of Babel grows as Roku has its say
Published in News
Wednesday, 03 January 2018 17:20

Tower of Babel grows as Roku has its say


Help me, help me!

Roku will introduce a voice assistant with its technology later this year, entering what's getting to be a crowded space packed with the likes of Amazon, Google, Apple and more.