Jobs’ Mob in shock after someone turns down an offer they could not refuse.
The fruity tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple is in shock after one of its suppliers walked away from its custom.
Persecuting the Apple cult in the traditional Roman way
The country which gave the world pizza, pasta and European civilisation is mulling over saving the nation from the fruity cargo cult by banning the iPhone.
He hated being outsmugged by Microsoft so he stole its tablet
The messiah of the fruity cargo-cult, Steve Jobs, apparently was only interested in hacking off a single Microsoft executive when he stole the idea for the tablet and the smartphone.
But his designers said it was a bad idea
Steve Jobs wanted the iPhone to be more like Android and have a back button in addition to a home button, however the designers overruled him.
At last Apple has invented it
The geniuses at Apple will finally invent gaming changing wireless charging technology, which none of its rivals have, and it will be in the next iPhone.
Iphones will be slower than anyone else
The Tame Apple Press has just woken up to something we have been saying for ages – the iPhone will have slower download speeds because Apple wants to punish Qualcomm for not doing what it is told.
Replace fanboys with AI
Fruity tax-dodging cargo-cult Apple is working out a way to cut out a major weakness in its devices' business model – its users.
Ipad and iPhone might have crashed a plane
Fruity cargo-cult Apple has agreed to help a French inquiry into a plane crash.
For the same spec as a two year old Samsung
A research note shared by a Goldman Sachs analyst has suggested that the 256GB iPhone 8 will cost consumers $1,099.