Appealing rulings

Fruity cargo-cult Apple and "Fortnite" maker Epic Games have asked a US appeals court to reconsider its April ruling in an antitrust case that could force Apple to change payment practices in its App Store.

Out-of-date, over-priced and nothing we have not already explored

Desperate to find a way to advertise Apple’s pointless VR specs, the Tame Apple Press has asked Mark Zuckerberg what he thinks of the technology and if he is ready to surrender his metaverse dreams to his superior Jobs’ Mob overlords.

Help we are running out of ideas

While the Tame Apple Press is doing its best to advertise Job’s Mob’s overpriced VR specs which will be apparently released next year, the company has rushed out and bought some existing tech.

Analyst view: Starting at $3499

Apple has finally acknowledged that it has been working for years on the eXtended Reality product. XR is a collaborative term that unifies an Augmented and Virtual reality device under one umbrella. Apple’s announcement shared sufficient details to create excitement around VR and give us some idea about the device, but it left some key elements out, including storage options and RAM.

Even the monkeys in the Tame Apple Press can’t find much positive to say

Fruity cargo cult Apple debuted its iOS 17 yesterday and it was so dull that even the Tame Apple Press could not find much to get excited about.

Late, out-of-date, impractical, and hideously over-priced

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has finally released a product for rich kids who were dropped on their heads by their nannies.

New screen size and M2 SoC

Apple has now officially, and finally, announced the MacBook Air in 15-inch size. In addition to the new Retina screen, the 15-inch MacBook Air also got the M2 chip, the same one from the 13-inch model.

Coming to new Mac Studio and Mac Pro

At its WWDC23 event that kicked off earlier today, Apple announced its latest M2 Ultra SoC, and just like the last year with M1 Ultra, Apple has combined two M2 Max chips with UltraFusion to boost up the performance, giving it more cores, and equip it with 192GB of unified memory and 800GB/s of bandwidth. It will be coming to the new Mac Studio and Mac Pro systems.

Check your money in whenever you like, but you can’t take it out

Apple fanboys are a little surprised that Apple’s Savings Account system has a super-cool, innovative feature that means they can’t take it out.

Been around since 2015, Apple didn't notice

Software King of the World, Microsoft rushed to help save the fruity cargo cult Apple which was suffering from a serious security problem since 2015.