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Prepare yourself for Apple backslapping

by on28 October 2013

Tame Apple press gears up for mass press release

The tame Apple press, which is famous for putting everything that Job’s Mob does in a positive light, its preparing to spin another yarn for its favourite company.

Word on the street is that Apple made a huge cock-up trying to release a “cheap phone” which was too expensive, alongside a flagship phone, which did not have a killer app. Indications are that the “cheaper” iPhone 5C sold like steamed dog poo and Apple has pulled back on its manufacture. However when it did sell it took sales away from the iPhone 5S.

Normally Apple refuses to release sales figures, but today it is expected to do so which indicates that they might be better than expected. Some analysts, who have their genitals plugged into the Apple press office, are claiming that it is proof that concerns are overblown and that a greater proportion of iPhone 5S shipped and this boosted margins.

Some are even denying stories that Apple has made production cuts at all and is set to kick Samsung out of the market. Apple is expected to report sales of 33 million to 36 million iPhones in its fiscal fourth quarter that ended in September, rising to more than 50 million in the typically strong holiday quarter - the first full quarter of sales of the two new phones.

The Tame Apple press continues to report that there were strong sales of the iPhone 5S often desperately quoting figures which refer to numbers that are sitting gathering dust in Apple shopping cathedrals. At the end of the day Pegatron, which assembles the model, had seen orders reduced by less than 20 percent and Hon Hai another major assembly contractor for the 5C, had its orders for the same period reduced by a third.

For this not to have damaged Apple, the iPhone 5S would have had to be a huge hit, and even bigger than ever before. This is not something than anyone else has noticed. We are just waiting to see how Apple will spin this.

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