Published in News

Apple to create new proprietary plug

by on06 June 2014

You will need to buy our headphones

Apple has designed to extend its control over its peripheries market by forcing all its users to buy headphones based on a proprietary headphone socket it dreamed up. Presstitutes at the tame Apple Press have been attempting to spin the news by claiming that new development will be super and cool for users because it will use a Lightning module for headphones.

The new connector will allow headphones to plug straight into the Lightning connector on the iPhone or iPad for analogue audio, rather than having to use the traditional 3.5mm socket. However what Jobs’ Mob is not saying is how that will be remotely useful as they will do nothing to the sound quality. All that they can do is boost Jobs’ Mob’s bottom line by creating "Made for iPhone" headphones really wouldn't connect to anything else. 

Indeed Apple is claiming that the Lightning headphone module would enable digital and analogue connections in one after all that has never been done before… oh wait it has. Nor has it explained why an earbud would need an un-decoded digital connection.

Apple claims it is because the earbud needs things like data for noise cancellation, you can offer an app on your device that communicates with your headphones to control how that operates. Surely you just have that done at the phone end and keep all the data and unnecessary stuff out of the ears.

Apple also claims that you can draw power through the Lightning connector, so you wouldn't need batteries in your headphones. So plugging in the headphones will now drain your phone which is not something Apple would want to see.

Besides forcing customers to buy only its headphones there is an additional advantage. By shipping most of the sound gubbins to the headphones, Apple can make its phones slimmer and pretend they are well designed. So you can realise how silly this is a similar thing could be done by moving the engine of a car onto a small trailer which is connected to the back axle. THis would enable all sorts of interesting and weird designs, but your car would always have a trailer.

This will mean that you would not be able to charge your phone and listen to Coldplay at the same time.

Our guess is that the move will not do many of the things that have been predicted. Apple really does not need to do much more than change the connector to achieve most of its goals.

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