Tame Apple Press furious
The Tame Apple Press is furious that truthful sales people are undermining all the efforts it made to make the iPhone X look super cool and value for money.
Europeans have to upgrade or be throttled
It is impressive how easily Apple shuts up journalists. Jobs' Mob managed to convince the tame Apple Press that it was not evil for throttling old iPhones by dropping the cost of battery replacement – but it seems only English and American Apple fanboys will be given the discount.
Must listen to a proposal about human rights
Fruity cargo-cult Apple has been told that it must listen to its shareholders when they ask it to adopt policies that encourage human rights.
Battery issues will damage 2018 sales
The fruity cargo-cult Apple’s moves to throttle the speed of iPhones with old batteries will damage its 2018 sales, according to Barclays Bank analysts.
Help me, help me!
Roku will introduce a voice assistant with its technology later this year, entering what's getting to be a crowded space packed with the likes of Amazon, Google, Apple and more.
All a terrible misunderstanding
Apple has just published a letter to customers saying sorry for throttling older phones which might have dodgy batteries without telling them.
You toucha our brand we breaka your face
Apple no longer owns the right to Steve Jobs’ name after a landmark trademark dispute in Italy.
Fundamentalist religious cult with too much money enters Saudi Arabia
Apple is in licensing discussions with Riyadh on investing in Saudi Arabia and turning the region into a Mecca for Apple goods.
Tame Apple Press claims it is just copying Apple again
While the iPhone has been suffering from battery problems, thanks mostly to Jobs' Mob's throttling of users for their own good, the Tame Apple Press has been focusing on the rival Samsung Galaxy Note 8, which appears to have problems of its own.
Predictions get gloomier
Staff at the fruity cargo cult Apple will be hitting the Christmas spirits over the holidays as it looks like the company's cunning plan of keeping its iPhone cash cow alive by making users pay more has failed.