The Fruity Cargo cult Apple has had to shut down its online missionary work in Tsar Putin’s Russia because the country can’t afford the religion. Apple confirmed it has taken down its online store in Russia due to extreme fluctuations in the value of the rouble. It said in a statement that it is currently reviewing pricing.

Jobs’ Mob always had a problem in Russia. The only people who could afford their product were those employed by the Russian Mafia and unlike China, where kids were prepared to sell a kidney to get an iPhone, Russians were a little more practical. One press conference a journalist at a Press Conference actually asked the head of Apple why he should give up three months’ salary for this shiny toy – a far cry from the cheering standing ovations Apple is used to getting from the US press.

The US consumer electronics giant suggested the halt was temporary and only related to the country's currency crisis, which has seen the rouble plummet 20pc against the dollar this week and about a third in a month, despite Moscow's attempts to defend it.

"Due to extreme fluctuations in the value of the rouble, our online store in Russia is currently unavailable while we review pricing. We apologise to customers for any inconvenience," a company spokeswoman said.

The Central Bank of Russia has ratcheted up interest rates from 10.5pc to 17pc to stem the outflow of currency from the country. But the move resulted in very sharp swings in the currency and it ended Tuesday lower than before the rate hike.