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Apple admits its new Watch 3 is borked

by on21 September 2017


Wants you to pay for it any way

Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has admitted that its new Apple 3 watch is borked but it is going to sell it to Apple fanboys at the end of the week anyway.

Apple's new Series 3 smartwatch starts shipping this Friday, and the only significant feature change between last year's model and this new Watch is that it has built-in mobile capabilities.

The only problem with this feature is that it is not reliable. Reviewers have noticed that it connects with other humans about as well as Julian Assange. The new Watch appears to try to connect to unknown Wi Fi networks instead of connecting to mobile.

Apple has been replacing review units but these feature the same problem. Now Jobs’ Mob has issued an official statement, acknowledging the issue. "We have discovered that when Apple Watch Series 3 joins unauthenticated Wi-Fi networks without connectivity, it may at times prevent the watch from using cellular."

But surely knowingly flogging a borked product is a bad thing and Apple will not release the watch until it has fixed the problem? For most companies, that might be true, but Apple can bank on the fact that the Tame Apple Press will not mention the problem and its users will not care. It is releasing the borked product for sale and will send the broken products out to users safe in the knowledge that people will buy them.  It will then fix the issue after the product has been released, even if it kills one of its main features.

An Apple spokesperson said in an emailed statement: "We are investigating a fix for a future software release."

So users might have the problem for a while until the software geniuses at Apple, who so far failed to notice the issue throughout its development process come up with a fix for it. Still you get what you pay for... oh... no you don't.

Last modified on 21 September 2017
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