Featured Articles

TSMC: Volume production of 16nm FinFET in 2H 2015

TSMC: Volume production of 16nm FinFET in 2H 2015

TSMC has announced that it will begin volume production of 16nm FinFET products in the second half of 2015, in late…

More...
AMD misses earnings targets, announces layoffs

AMD misses earnings targets, announces layoffs

AMD has missed earnings targets and is planning a substantial job cuts. The company reported quarterly earnings yesterday and the street is…

More...
Did Google botch the Nexus 6 and Nexus 9?

Did Google botch the Nexus 6 and Nexus 9?

As expected, Google has finally released the eagerly awaited Nexus 6 phablet and its first 64-bit device, the Nexus 9 tablet.

More...
Gainward GTX 970 Phantom previewed

Gainward GTX 970 Phantom previewed

Nvidia has released two new graphics cards based on its latest Maxwell GPU architecture. The Geforce GTX 970 and Geforce GTX…

More...
EVGA GTX 970 SC ACX 2.0 reviewed

EVGA GTX 970 SC ACX 2.0 reviewed

Nvidia has released two new graphics cards based on its latest Maxwell GPU architecture. The Geforce GTX 970 and Geforce GTX…

More...
Frontpage Slideshow | Copyright © 2006-2010 orks, a business unit of Nuevvo Webware Ltd.
Friday, 07 March 2014 10:45

Apple gets its own drone force

Written by Nick Farrell



Nick Farrell in hiding

The fruity cargo cult Apple has started investing in its own drone force as a way of policing itself against “terrorist attacks.” Well we say “terrorist” to Apple that means anyone who thinks that its products are overpriced rubbish and who does not listen to Coldplay.

The company has announced the following model drones will be up and flying and according to our military sources they could be weaponised. Our deep throat inside Bosnian military intelligence suggests that they could deliver an explosive charge similar to an AP landmine with 30-40g of high explosives. Of course it could be bought down with a fly swat but if a small shaped charge was employed and detonated a few feet away it would be unstoppable.

“It is a dangerous state of affairs when a dangerous religious cult gets its hands on things like drones and mount crusades against those who it perceives and unbelievers,” he warned. Our source also pointed out that terminal phase guidance should not be an issue, as the drones could home in on non-Apple WiFi signatures.

At Fudzilla we are investing in blast-proof windows and walls so that we can continue to tell readers the truth about Apple. (Nick Farell can be reached at the Tora Bora cave complex, Nangarhar province, Afghanistan. Ed)

Nick Farrell

E-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
blog comments powered by Disqus

 

Facebook activity

Latest Commented Articles

Recent Comments