Featured Articles

Broadwell to be faster than Skylake-S in desktop

Broadwell to be faster than Skylake-S in desktop

Intel will do something that it never did before. It will release two processor generations at once in the desktop space.…

More...
ARM’s signs off on 64 bit ARMv8-A

ARM’s signs off on 64 bit ARMv8-A

British chip designer ARM has just signed off its 50th licensing agreement for its ARMv8-A technology, which includes support for 64-bit…

More...
Intel Business vPro market divided into 7 categories

Intel Business vPro market divided into 7 categories

Just a few years ago we had two market segments for business users. We had desktops and notebooks and now Intel…

More...
GTA 5 will make November release

GTA 5 will make November release

While we have continued to hear that Grand Theft Auto V for the Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and PC will not…

More...
Aerocool Dead Silence reviewed

Aerocool Dead Silence reviewed

Aerocool is well known for its gamer cases with aggressive styling. However, the Dead Silence chassis offers consumers a new choice,…

More...
Frontpage Slideshow | Copyright © 2006-2010 orks, a business unit of Nuevvo Webware Ltd.
Friday, 07 March 2014 10:45

Apple gets its own drone force

Written by Nick Farrell



Nick Farrell in hiding

The fruity cargo cult Apple has started investing in its own drone force as a way of policing itself against “terrorist attacks.” Well we say “terrorist” to Apple that means anyone who thinks that its products are overpriced rubbish and who does not listen to Coldplay.

The company has announced the following model drones will be up and flying and according to our military sources they could be weaponised. Our deep throat inside Bosnian military intelligence suggests that they could deliver an explosive charge similar to an AP landmine with 30-40g of high explosives. Of course it could be bought down with a fly swat but if a small shaped charge was employed and detonated a few feet away it would be unstoppable.

“It is a dangerous state of affairs when a dangerous religious cult gets its hands on things like drones and mount crusades against those who it perceives and unbelievers,” he warned. Our source also pointed out that terminal phase guidance should not be an issue, as the drones could home in on non-Apple WiFi signatures.

At Fudzilla we are investing in blast-proof windows and walls so that we can continue to tell readers the truth about Apple. (Nick Farell can be reached at the Tora Bora cave complex, Nangarhar province, Afghanistan. Ed)

Nick Farrell

E-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
blog comments powered by Disqus

 

Facebook activity

Latest Commented Articles

Recent Comments