Published in News
Chairman Mao revolutionizes laptop cooling
Red hot chilly cooling pad for the comrade on the go
As if Che Guevara shirts weren't enough, entrepreneurs are now cashing in on other communist icons, from Ostalgie stuff in Germany, down to Marshal Tito merchandising in the Balkans, Ho Chi Minh in southeast Asia, all the way to Beijing's comrade Mao. Chinavasion is selling a laptop cooling pad with an engraved poem by Chairman Mao Ze Dong, and it's even claiming it is "Chairman tested and approved".
The aluminium pad sports two 77mm fans running at 1400rpm, and it's powered via a USB port. The manufacturer claims the twin heatsink will suck heat and counter-revolutionary sentiments away from the bottom of your laptop, cooling it and reforming it through labor, allowing your computer to run cooler, safer and "more ideologically correct."
"Cadres, Young Pioneers, the proletariat, and even rightists all love this cooling pad! Order in bulk to enjoy greater savings and be the first among your capitalist competitors to distribute this amazing item to the masses," says Chinavasion.
Somehow we doubt they will sell a lot of them in Taiwan. In any case, you can get your communist cooling pad here, for a proletariat friendly €10.
Anyway, here's a translation of the poem engraved on the revolutionary cooling pad.
North country scene, a hundred leagues locked in ice, a thousand leagues of whirling snow.
Both sides of the Great Wall, one single white immensity; The Yellow River's swift current, is stilled from end to end.
The mountains dance silver snakes, and the highlands charge like wax-hued elephants, vying with heaven in stature.
On a fine day, the land, clad in white, adorned in red, especially enchanting.
This land so rich in beauty,
Has made countless heroes bow in homage.
But alas! Qin Shi Huang and Han Wudi were lacking in literary grace; And Tang Taizong and Song Taizu had little poetry in their souls.
That proud son of Heaven, Genghis Khan, knew only shooting eagles, bow outstretched.
All are past and gone! For truly great men, look to this age alone.
Chairman Mao Ze Dong, 1936.