Restricted file sharing to help its government chums

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has decided that it is much better to be on the side of the Chinese government, than it is on the side of its users.

Yes Apple, the law does apply to you

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple was shocked after the Brazilian government enforced a law it democratically voted on and pulled its iPhone’s from stores across the land.

What was Jobs thinking of?

Ex-Apple executive and longtime Apple commentator Jean-Louis Gassee has suddenly woken up and realised that the iPad had no use and is dying off.

Apparently no one noticed before

The UK's Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) has launched a market investigation into cloud gaming and mobile browsers after its study found Apple and Google constitute a duopoly that controls the mobile ecosystem.

Turns out it is sticking to the Far East after all

While the Tame Apple Press was singing how wonderful it was that Apple was going to be making its chips in America again, it turns out that they were just peddling marketing.

And the voice of 200,000 fanboys cried out and were silent

Apple's Phil Schiller, responsible for Apple events and the App Store, has deactivated his Twitter account, meaning that it is no longer a vehicle for key Jobs' Mob events.

We can't admit that Lightning was a dumb move

Fruity cargo cult Apple is so angry that the EU has forced it to move to USB-C instead of its lightning cable, it is planning to release an older slower version for its iPhone 15 Pro models.

Steve Jobs spins in an unmarked grave

The fruity cargo cult Apple is so strapped for chips that it is thinking of having them made in the US.

Even after they requested opt-outs

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has been sued by a New York resident Elliot Libman who claims the company is continuing to collect data, even after it promised it would not.

Ruins the “premium experience”

Staff at the fruity cargo-cult Apple are hacked off at their management’s move to fill the iPhone with advertising.