Apple employee stole $17 million from the company
Published in News
Wednesday, 02 November 2022 11:48

Apple employee stole $17 million from the company


Ran a parts and services racket on the side 

The US Attorney's Office for Northern California has said that a former Apple employee has been found guilty of mail and wire fraud charges related to other crimes that defrauded the company for a value of more than $17 million.

Apple claims to have invented deep fakes
Published in News
Tuesday, 01 November 2022 10:46

Apple claims to have invented deep fakes


US Patent Office even gives it a patent

The US Patent Office has granted Apple a patent for a deepfake technology that can alter someone’s face in a photograph, even though the technology has been around since Joseph Stalin tried to remove people he didn’t like from history.

Apple posts below par results
Published in News
Friday, 28 October 2022 09:10

Apple posts below par results


Saved by the Tame Apple Press 

Apple posted results which were well below what the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street expected, only to be saved by the Tame Apple Press who managed to talk the share price up.

Apple rejects Spotify’s updates
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 27 October 2022 10:49

Apple rejects Spotify’s updates


Keeping the rivals in check 

Apple has been rejecting Spotify’s app updates claiming that they violate the company’s guidelines regarding online purchases.

Apple will agree to EU demands to upgrade its iPhone chargers
Published in Mobiles


It has no choice

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has admitted that it has “no choice” but to upgrade the charging ports on its upcoming iPhones to follow an EU directive.

Apple hikes prices
Published in News
Tuesday, 25 October 2022 09:25

Apple hikes prices


No reason that global suffering and falling sales should hurt our profits 

Fruity cargo cult Apple has decided that the best way for it to make money when no one want's its overpriced trinkets is to increase the prices of its other services.

Google gives Apple a taste of its own medicine
Published in Mobiles


Will make Apple layouts look rubbish on Android 

Google has had enough of Apple making messages from Android users look bad on iMessenger and is giving Jobs' Mob a taste of its own medicine.

Evans Hankey to leave Apple
Published in News
Monday, 24 October 2022 10:14

Evans Hankey to leave Apple


Apple's hardware design takes another beating 

Apple vice president of industrial design since 2019, Evans Hankey, has announced plans to exit the fruity cargo cult in the coming months. 

Apple slashes iPhone production further
Published in Mobiles
Friday, 21 October 2022 10:34

Apple slashes iPhone production further


Cash cow really stuck

Apple has slowed production of its flaghip iPhone 14 Plus 'by 40 percent' just two weeks after the September launch because consumers are not touching them with a barge pole.

Smartphone prices falling
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 20 October 2022 10:43

Smartphone prices falling


Bad news for Apple 

Global smartphone shipments for calendar Q3 falling to their lowest quarterly rate in eight years, which is bad news for companies who have touted expensive flagship models.