AI is pants, claims Apple
If we can’t invent it no one can
While Apple is unable to get a decent AI product on the market, it has decided to invest in scientific research which claims the whole thing is pants anyway.
Apple suffers 14-inch MacBook Pro leak
Ohhh those Russians
The Tame Apple Press is shocked and horrified that its favourite company might be suffering from the worst leak since someone left iPhone 4 prototype at a bar in California in 2010.
Apple’s Intelligence upgrade expected on October 28
Might even be able to count to five
The Tame Apple Press is excited about Apple's release of its AI feature on iOS 18.1, claiming that it will be a “major upgrade considering the number of front-facing changes it will bring for the iPhone.”
OpenAI gets all the funding it needs
Who needs Apple?
Despite claims in the Tame Apple Press that OpenAI was set to go bankrupt now that Apple had walked away from the company, the company seems to have secured a pile of cash from others.
Apple cracks down on social networking
Contact sharing will be more restrictive
Apple, the fruity cargo-cult, has changed how apps can access a user’s contacts in iOS 18, making its contact-sharing prompt more restrictive -- after all it is not as if Apple fanboys have friends.
iPhone 16 / Pro pre orders are low in EU
Preorders weaker than predecessor
Enthusiasm over the new iPhone 16 series with a new shutter button and unclear Apple Intelligence (AI) strategy led to much lower iPhone 16 preorder numbers compared to the iPhone 15 generation. The numbers are lower in the EU as well as worldwide.
Apple unveils new A18 and A18 Pro SoCs
3nm and 16-core NPU for 35 TOPs
Apple has officially announced its two new chipsets, the A18 and the A18 Pro, with the new iPhone 16 and iPhone 16 Plus getting the A18 and the iPhone 16 Pro and iPhone 16 Pro Max getting the more powerful A18 Pro SoC.
Apple’s efforts to get Qualcomm out of the mix cost a fortune
Still not going anywhere
Bloomberg's Mark Gurman has outlined how the fruity cargo cult Apple plans to stick the knife into Qualcomm and develop its own in-house cellular modem.
Indian watchdog recalls two Apple reports
Jobs’ Mob complains they were “commercially sensitive”
India's antitrust body has taken the unusual step of recalling two reports detailing competition law breaches by Apple after the tech giant complained that it had disclosed commercial secrets to competitors.
Apple Intelligence is delayed
You probably were not expecting this
In a move that will surprise absolutely no one, the fruity cargo-cult Apple has decided to delay the release of its over-hyped Apple Intelligence.