iOS 18 refuses to help police with their inquiries.

Codewriters for the fruity cargo cult Apple, who have previously been unable to write a program which can shift to summer time, have come up with a way of shutting out cops from iPhones.

Of course, it does not work

The fruity cargo cult Apple has gone ahead with a plan to make it more difficult for cops and spooks to use iPhone evidence.

Teaching them how to steal legitimately

The British government, which is currently taking money out of its health and education system, is thinking of spending a fortune giving over-priced iPads to its criminal population.