Apple’s Intelligence upgrade expected on October 28
Published in News


Might even be able to count to five

The Tame Apple Press is excited about Apple's release of its AI feature on iOS 18.1, claiming that it will be a “major upgrade considering the number of front-facing changes it will bring for the iPhone.”

Apple faces probe for killing iPhone web apps in EU
Published in News


The price for being petulant

Apple could be in hot water over its decision to scrap iPhone web apps in the European Union, the Financial Times reports.

Apple tells fanboys not to serve iPhones in rice
Published in News
Wednesday, 21 February 2024 10:33

Apple tells fanboys not to serve iPhones in rice


iPhone sushi is not an approved technology solution

Fruity cargo cult Apple has been forced to tell its rather stupid fanboys that sticking their expensive iPhones in a bed of rice will not be good for their health.

US law set to arrest iPhone giant
Published in News
Monday, 08 January 2024 10:58

US law set to arrest iPhone giant


Apple in a jam

Apple is facing a massive lawsuit from the US Justice Department over its dirty tricks to keep the iPhone on top.

Apple wants iPhones to talk like humans
Published in Mobiles
Friday, 22 December 2023 11:10

Apple wants iPhones to talk like humans


We must do something catch up

Desperate to recover the ground lost by dropping the ball on AI, Apple claims that it has a secret plan to make iPhones smart by allowing them to chat like a real person.

Police warn fanboys about new iPhone "feature"
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 28 November 2023 09:52

Police warn fanboys about new iPhone "feature"


Allows too much data to be shared

US coppers are warning iPhone users to be cautious following a new update which comes with a default setting which allows stalkers and pedophiles to uplift all a phone's data.

Apple kneed in the Middle Kingdom
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 23 November 2023 11:41

Apple kneed in the Middle Kingdom


No one wants the new iPhone

The fruity cargo cult Apple is having a bad time in China as punters no longer want an expensive slice of the American dream.

Washington DC helps Apple and stalkers
Published in Transportation
Tuesday, 07 November 2023 10:59

Washington DC helps Apple and stalkers


You need an iPhone to defend against car thieves

Washington D.C. plans to give residents Apple AirTags to help officers track down stolen vehicles.

Apple tells people if they are holding their iPhones wrong
Published in Mobiles


Preventing short-sightedness

Fruity cargo cult Apple has installed a tool on its iPhone which tells users if they are holding the screen too close to their face.

Qualcomm modems will power Apple phones until 2026
Published in Mobiles


Modems are hard

Even though Apple acquired Intel's modem business unit, the company failed to materialize its in-house 5G modem that works in the worldwide market. Shortly before the iPhone's announcement, it was announced that Apple still sticks with the Qualcomm modems.