Claims to have the fate of Ukraine in his paws

Elon [roman salute] Musk has turned a geopolitical crisis into his ego trip by clashing with Poland’s Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski over Starlink’s role in Ukraine’s defence. 

$10 billion to $20 billion

Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s administration is giving the boot to fibre internet preferences in the $42.45 billion Broadband Equity, Access, and Deployment (BEAD) programme, a move that will conveniently funnel more cash into Elon [Roman salute] Musk’s Starlink.

Musk feels a closeness with Italy

Elon [Roman salute] Musk's Starlink is battling for access to key E-band frequencies in Italy as the space-based internet giant seeks to cement its dominance across Europe.

We are coming for you

The hacker collective Anonymous issued a stern warning to Elon [Roman Salute] Musk, accusing the chainsaw-weilding, bouncing Leatherface of manipulating cryptocurrency markets and disregarding the welfare of average investors.

Shoots across his bows before surrendering

Swastica maker Elon [look at me] Musk might find his businesses suffer more as he becomes closely identified with Donald [grab ‘em by the pussy] Trump’s trade policies.

Snub to Italian-European system on table after meeting with Trump

Italy's far right government is in advanced talks with Elon [look at me] Musk's SpaceX for a deal to provide secure telecommunications for the nation's government.

Asked to go against US foreign policy

For the last two years Elon [look at me] Musk has regularly talked with that very nice Vladimir Putin and come under pressure to disobey US foreign policy.

Asked the FCC for permission

Elon [look at me] Musk has asked the FCC for permission to modify the second generation, Gen2, of Spacex’s  Starlink satellite system.

Easier than fighting

India seems to have forgotten its history with the British East India Company and is giving its satellite spectrum without a fundraising auction.

An attack on one is an attack on the other

Fruity cargo cult Apple has teamed up with Elon [look at me] Musk’s Starlink to see off a report which shows them both up as a little insecure.