Will probably U turn on it next week

Supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk tweeted that the media platform will relaunch its Twitter Blue verification service on 29 November.

“Free speech” means agreeing with me tiny human

Self-proclaimed free speech advocate Elon [look at me] Musk has fired a Twitter engineer for correcting him.

Humans are disposable 

Twitter fired between 4,400 and 5,500 workers over the weekend by email. The job cuts follow layoffs that culled about half of Twitter’s workforce and slashed 15 percent of its trust and safety team.

Warns that bankrupcy is a possibility 

Self-proclaimed business genius Elon [look at me] Musk is finding running Twitter a lot more difficult than he thought and is warning that he might have to shut it down.

Beats tying them to the railway track

Elon [look at me] Musk is in hot water after two of the Twitter people he tossed into the cold and snow before Christmas happened to be pregnant.

You know that firing staff was only me trying to get into the news right?

Supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk has found that his brilliant plan to fix Twitter by firing half the employees is fast backfiring and he has asked some of them back.

Fears it will end up like Parler or Truth Social

Elon [look at me] Musk's arrival at Twitter has resulted in a mass exodus of more than a million users who fear it will be come yet another home for right-wing wing-nuts who want to spread conspiracy stories and racially abuse those who are slightly left of Genghis Khan. 

Then angers the far right by dressing up as Satan

Elon Musk has fired Twitter's board of directors and appointed himself its sole member and then managed to anger his new Twitter fanbase by showing up at a party dressed as Satan.

Mastodon might become the next big thing 

Some celebs are exiting Twitter because they don't like the sound of Elon Musk's new plans for the site while some others who had been banned are rejoining.

Gives employees a week to sort out the code

Elon [look at me] Musk has given his Twitter programmers a week to  revamp Twitter Blue in such a way that verified users have to sign up to it for a $19.99/month fee in order to retain their verified badge.