Published in News

Dear Leader cracks down on knowledge

by on01 January 2013

The only one who needs it is me

The Glorious Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un is saving his poor people from the dangers of knowledge. Kim has told his people that they are under attack from knowledge which crosses the border and infects North Koreans until they no longer believe that he can beat Chuck Norris in a fist fight, or was the first to land on the Moon. 

"We must extend the fight against the enemy's ideological and cultural infiltration," Kim said in an October speech at the headquarters of his immensely powerful internal security service. Kim called upon his vast security network to "ruthlessly crush those hostile elements."

What he is worried about is cheap televisions rigged to receive foreign broadcasts, and with smuggled mobile phones that which can call the outside world. Most of the time we are talking about South Korean soap operas smuggled in on DVDs or computer thumb drives. But then everyone who is sane fears those.

According to AP Christian missionaries run networks for traders who sell everything from electronics to shoes inside North Korea and who smuggle everything from Bibles to soap operas. It seems that Kim is very worried that soap operas which are bad even by South American standards can bring down his government.

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