Cook calls him to make him promise to protect Apple's lunch money

Former US president Donald Trump claims that Apple CEO Tim Cook called him to get the EU to stop picking on the poor little cargo cult.

Tim Cook trousers $63 million despite slashing his pay target by 40 per cent

Apple boss Tim Cook has bagged a whopping $63 million in 2023, even though he had cut his pay target by 40 per cent from the previous year.

They wear out you know

Popular beat combo singer Dua Lipa had a “revealing” interview with Apple CEO Tim Cook in which he revealed that he thought that people were using their smartphones too much.

Even if his company’s forthcoming project more doomed than the Titanic

Apple supremo Tim Cook is trying to encourage positive stories about his outfit’s AR and VR gear before its launch on 5 June.

Just in case that kept you up all night 

Apple traditionally does not say what components it slaps under the bonnet of its iPhone cash cow, so the Tame Apple Press was surprised that its CEO Tim Cook revealed on a trip to Japan that it uses Sony image sensors.

A load of bollards in Massachusetts car crash

Fruity cargo cult Apple has been sued over the crash at the Apple Store in Hingham, Massachusetts, because it failed to prevent it happening.

When your entire company depends on countries getting along

Fruity cargo cult Apple is in hot water because its CEO Tim Cook cut costs by depending on a Chinese supply chain.

If you make us face the music, user-privacy will suffer

Fruit and nutty cargo-cult supremo Tim Cook told politicians to stop bringing anti-trust charges against his app-store.

We are paying him too much

Proxy advisory firm Institutional Shareholder Services (ISS) urged Apple investors to vote against Chief Executive Officer Tim Cook's remuneration, citing concerns around the magnitude and structure of his equity award.

She claims he is the mother of her children

Apple boss Tim Cook appears to be being stalked by an armed woman who claims he is the father of her children.