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US government has battle plan against zombies

by on19 May 2014

Your tax dollars at work

The US government has drawn up an elaborate plan should a zombie apocalypse befall the country. 

A Defence Department document obtained by CNN titled "CONOP 8888" was developed by officials from US Strategic Command. It used a scenario for a planet-wide attack by the walking dead as a training template for how to plan for real-life, large-scale operations, emergencies and catastrophes.

It is not as nuts as it seems. Navy Capt. Pamela Kunze, a spokeswoman for U.S. Strategic Command, told CNN said that the document was a training tool used in an in-house training exercise where students learn about the basic concepts of military plans and order development through a fictional training scenario. But the planning for a crisis in which Americans are about to be overrun by flesh-eating invaders is interesting. The Pentagon said that there would be a wide variety of different zombies, each brandishing their own lethal threats.

There are Zombie life forms "created via some form of occult experimentation in what might otherwise be referred to as 'evil magic’, vegetarian zombies that pose no threat to humans due to their exclusive consumption of vegetation, to zombie life forms created after an organism is infected with a high dose of radiation are among the invaders, the document outlines. It fails to mention the sort of zombies who mindlessly queue for Apple products and then claim that they are the best in world, but apart from that they are pretty thorough.

Every phase of the operation from conducting general zombie awareness training, and recalling all military personnel to their duty stations, to deploying reconnaissance teams to ascertain the general safety of the environment to restoring civil authority after the zombie threat has been neutralized are discussed.

"The only assumed way to effectively cause causalities to the zombie ranks by tactical force is the concentration of all firepower to the head, specifically the brain," the plan reads. Afterwards the plan is to burn the zombie.

In some cases nukes can be used within the continental United States to eradicate zombie hordes.

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