Published in News

Israeli donkeys get wi-fi upgrade

by on23 August 2012



Bringing animal labour to the 21st-century

After centuries being beasts of burden in the Holy Land, Israeli donkeys have been given a wi-fi upgrade.

A historical park of Kfar Kedem in northern Israel, which is supposed to create the scenes from the Old Testament, minus all the child abuse, rape and lopping off of foreskins, wanted people to have the use of wi-fi. The only problem was wi-fi was not mentioned in the bible and cell tower would spoil the historical effect.

The only problem was that they would not get Americans to the park unless they could carry the articles of the new religion – the iPhone or iPad. Apple fanboys tend to react badly when they can't use their toys. So the park's manager, Menachem Goldberg looked around the theme park and behold, God bought forth donkeys. Actually they were there all the time, carrying overweight tourists, but hell miracles are in short supply in the holy land these days. They thought why not strap a wi-fi hot spot around the donkey's neck disguised as a feed bag (see Deut Ch4:9).

Now it means that Apple fanboys can surf the web while touring the land of the Bible on one of the oldest forms of transportation. Goldberg, said he hopes the melding of old and new will connect the younger generation to ancient Galilee life while allowing them to share, tweet and snap the experience instantly to friends.

Gods, 21st-century pilgrims really don't get it do they?

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