Published in News

Apple share prices fall

by on10 September 2014

Investors don’t believe

It looks like Apple shareholders think that the fruity cargo cult’s “back to the future” vision of a return to watches has as much validity wearing shoulder pads or huge flares.

Traditionally Apple shares go up before a product announcement, as shareholders fall for the Tame Apple Press frenzy and actually believe that the company will make even more piles of dosh. Share prices usually go up afterwards, which indicate that investors continue to believe in the bollocks long after their cheques have cleared.

However this time share prices fell before the event, thanks to the fact that Apple’s iCloud was so insecure that you could look at any starlets boobs if she was dumb enough to own Apple gear. The tech-giant’s shares jumped and dived several times over during the launch of the new device along with several other products.

The announcement of the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 plus sent Apple shares prices spiralling down, before they shot back up at the announcement of Apple Pay, the companies new mobile-payment system. The crazy stock prices didn’t stop there, as share prices sank back down after the announcement of the Apple Watch, which CEO Tim Cook called the ‘most personal device we’ve ever created’.

Then, like Fudzilla reported, U2 showed up and share prices continued to plummet. Of course the Tame Apple Press did its best to allay fears that Apple might not destroy the economy of Switzerland after all by reminding investors that Apple made $20 billion in revenue in the past three months so they should be all right.

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