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Farrell escapes from Apple tyranny

by on08 April 2015

Apple stuck a Farrell in charge of Apple quality... what could possibly go wrong?

The Tame Apple Press is stunned after it was revealed that a Farrell has escaped from Apple custody after he had been put in charge of Apple's quality.

Ben Farrell (no relation) has just penned a bog where he exposes what it is really like to work for Jobs' Mob.

"I've just escaped the Apple institution. I've sent in my resignation, and fled down its bright white corridors curated by crass colourful pictures of iPhones past. I handed in my security pass and in return I was able to re-claim my creativity, individuality and free thinking from the secure Apple cloak room. For the first time in two years I feel light, creative and inspired," he wrote.
He writes in the manner of someone who has just escaped from a religious cult – in fact he even uses the word collective "iCult machine whose dirty, worn-out, greasy and naive internal mechanisms of bullying, harassment and mind-games push out shiny and polished iPhones every year."

Farrell said it was ironic that one of the world's largest companies and one that prides itself on innovation, creativity and 'breaking the mould', operates on such soul-limiting, entrenched dogma. It's an organised boys club where perception is valued over substance and tenure over talent.

Two years a Slave 

Farrell spent two years in the Apple camp managing customer service improvement for their technical support contact centres. Can you see what Apple did wrong here?

"Out of fifteen-plus years working in this industry I've never witnessed so many bizarre and unprofessional things, only some of which I have time to touch on here," he moaned.

Working in Apple was like a sheltered workshop with the common language spoken being "passive aggression, sarcasm and Kool-Aid-fuelled stories of 'success' designed to manipulate and intimidate naive workers who have never experienced corporate life outside the Apple walls."

Drink the Kool Aid

Chinese emperors believed the forbidden city in Beijing was the centre of the world and constructed their empire around it people at Apple feel the same. He said it was no coincidence that the new Apple campus looked like a giant spaceship. He wonders if the plan is for everyone to drink poisoned 'Kool-Aid' before ascending to the mothership.

Drinks with colleagues revolved around the same stories told again and again as drunken management told of times when Apple executives made 'strategic' decisions to cut jobs and shut down Apple sites so swiftly and carelessly.
Stories have a notion of power and have an utter disrespect for the actions Apple has on the broader community of contractors, vendors, partners, resellers and business partners they have bent over a barrel of non-profitability.

Addicted to pointless meetings 

Apple is addicted to meetings with 16 hours a day of the things.

"Meetings at Apple reeked of toxic agendas designed to deliberately trip people up, make fools of the less respected and call people out. Team spirit is non existent as 'internal customers' attack individuals and push agendas that satisfy their morning egos," Farrell wrote.

Apple actually rehearses its meetings in advance with "dry runs" to refine impressions and push agendas. How to bend, twist and polish data to tell the story you were instructed to tell rather than the reality the data presents. If a story can't be forged, the data is excluded.

In one case Farrell had to conduct a dry run rehearsale for a a fake menial meeting to satisfy management's ego.
Sickness, family emergencies, and even weddings were given no respect at Apple. If you fall down stairs and injure yourself and have to go to hospital it is listed as a 'performance issue' on your record and brought up during a one-on-one with management as a major 'miss.'

"Even the morning of my wedding I was being harassed by phone and email to send a report someone had lost," Farrell said.

Yet after all this, simply raising concerns about management has got me nothing but retaliation from all involved, he said.

Nothing like the image 

"I'm disheartened as I loved Apple. I loved their products and I've been an advocate for what it allegedly stands for. Unfortunately I've seen behind their glossy and polished stainless steel exterior, I've walked through their frosted glass doors and seen a toxic culture of manipulation, intimidation, threats and politics that are so incongruent to the values they preach."


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