Leaked email shows that Cook is cracking down on leakers
Release the hounds - there shall be no leaking here
Apple CEO Tim Cook has warned employees about leaking company information and says he is cracking down on leakers. Unfortunately his email was leaked and provided much mirth to the non-Apple press.
Cook feels lonely and wants his staff back in the office
I can’t have you thinking differently
Fruity cargo cult Apple is returning to the old days of working from the office, attending boring meetings, and being under control because its CEO Tim Cook misses the idea of a busy office.
Cook should be slapped for "carefully tended ignorance"
Apple CEO apparently does not know what is going on
Apple CEO Tim Cook turn in the stand in the Epic antitrust battle appears to have been a loud-sounding yawn with what observers called a mild, carefully tended ignorance that left many of the lawsuit's key questions unanswered.
Tim Cook is a billionaire
As Apple's share prices increase
Apple chief executive Tim Cook has moved into the billionaire club as the tech firm's share price continues to soar.
Apple's marketing supremo replaced by deputy
Will work as a "fellow" who reports to Cook
Fruity cargo cult Apple announced that its longtime marketing boss Phil Schiller will step down from his role and be replaced by one of his deputies, Greg Joswiak, who now has Schiller's former title of vice president of worldwide marketing.
Apple faces darker trials and tribulations
Could this be the end of the world?
Apple's temporal and spiritual head Tim Cook has warned of potential trials and tribulations for followers of the cargo cult due to the plague coronavirus, the unfaithful apostates and heretics who belive in value for money.
Apple badgers evil technology companies
Just as well we are pure and holy.
The maker of tech that became famous by stealing ideas from other companies and claiming it invented them says it is terrible when other companies create chaos while doing that.
Apple core business slumps
As smartphone market dips
While many smartphone manufacturers are seeing shipments slow, a chunk of Apple dipped by nearly a quarter, according to its latest financial results.
Tim Cook calls for more technology regulation
Protect privacy
The supreme dalek of the Apple cargo cult, CEO Tim Cook, has called for more government regulation to protect privacy.
Trump thinks Tim Cook is an Apple
A cooking apple
US president Donald (Prince of Orange) Trump seems to be having a spot of confusion about who is in charge of the fruity cargo cult Apple.