Now is not the hour

While the fruity tax-dodger Apple does its best to convince the world that its Smartwatch 2 is any different from the expensive chocolate teapot which was the earlier model, it appears that other more “cutting edge” manufacturers are giving up on the tech.

Be prepared for a snooze

Fruity cargo cult Apple has booked the hall for one of its Nuremberg style rallies on September 7 where US journalists will shame themselves by cheering for products that they know are actually pants.

Inovation, Apple has heard of it

When it was first released, the iWatch was slammed for needing an iPhone to work. After all, there is no point having an iWatch if you have to carry your phone around too.  Now, two years later, the crack inovators at Apple still have not managed to fix the problem.

Nothing to see here,  move on please

A Chinese analyst claims that Apple will release the “new and improved” iWatch when all the coverage is going to be focused on the iPhone 7.

It does not matter how much you paid

It might have cost you an arm and a leg, but Apple does not expect its shiny toys to last longer than three to four years.

New model will be an S

It looks like Apple has no plan to rescue its awful iWatch. Word on the street is that the next model will be an S which will basically mean it is the same as one which failed to interest people last year.

Welsh underdog proved IWatch was fragile

The fruity cargo cult Apple cult has suddenly found itself having a taste of reality when a Welsh bloke successfully sued Apple and forced the company to change a misleading Apple Watch product description.

Just a minor update 

Hopes that the fruity cargo cult Apple would save its moribund iWatch with a bold new wearable device, which did what everyone though the first one would do, are looking less likely.

Allows fanboys to defect

Search engine outfit Google is offering Apple fanboys a way to get a proper smartwatch without losing the only product that Jobs’ Mob makes – the iPhone.

Wall Street fears iPhone not doing as well as marketed

The Fruity Cargo cult Apple is facing problems with Wall Street analysts who are refusing to repeat what its marketing department is telling them about the iPhone.