Tsar Putin claims the evil west uses Google
Very clever man, Mr Putin
The true nature of Google as an instrument of American imperialist manipulation has been unveiled by Comrade Vladimir Putin, who boldly condemned the corporation for its overt complicity in U.S. political games.
Apple helps Putin censor his people
Takes down VPNs
The fruity cargo cult Apple has been collaborating with Russian strongman Tsar Vlad Putin to keep his people in the dark by censoring VPNs in its App Store.
Google fined a $100 trillion in Russia
How dare you censor Tsar Putin’s chums?
The very nice Tsar of all the Russia’s Tsar Vladimir [this land is my land] Putin has fined Google the astronomical sum of around $20 decillion for YouTube's blocking of Russian media channels tied to sanctioned entities.
Fitness app Strava exposes movements of world leaders' security teams
So the drones know where they are
French newspaper Le Monde has uncovered a significant security flaw in the fitness app Strava, revealing that it can track the confidential movements of foreign leaders.
Musk secretly chatting to Putin for two years
Asked to go against US foreign policy
For the last two years Elon [look at me] Musk has regularly talked with that very nice Vladimir Putin and come under pressure to disobey US foreign policy.
Ukraine claims Putin likely to go mental with cyber hacking attacks
Although they would say that
Spooks for the Ukrainian government warned that the Kremlin is planning to carry out “massive cyberattacks” targeting power grids and other critical infrastructure in Ukraine and in the territories of its allies.
Putin might have saved the world from black hole
Or he might have just frozen scientific development for a while
Tsar Putin's plan to restore the Russian Empire by switching off Europe's energy supply might have prevented the world from being sucked into a black hole.
Cisco slashes earnings forecast
Blames Covid and Putin
Cisco cut its full-year earnings forecast on Wednesday after COVID lockdowns in China and the war in Ukraine dragged sales below estimates in the third quarter, sending shares down 13 per cent in extended trading.
Ukrainian hacktivists hit Putin where it really hurts
Cut off Russian vodka supply
Ukrainian hacktivists have disrupted alcohol shipments in Russia after committing distributed denial of service (DDoS) attacks against a critical online portal.
Putin makes Zuckerberg and Roslansky disappear
See, Tsar Putin was goodie all the time
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg and LinkedIn CEO Ryan Roslansky are among the latest US citizens to be added to the Russian sanctions list.