Twitter’s offices close as staff tell Musk to shove it
Mass resignations could cost Musk $40 billion
Twitter’s offices are shut as hundreds of employees revolted against the rule of supreme twit Elon [Look at Me] Musk and resigned en masse.
Musk is getting bored with Twitter
Wants someone else to be CEO
After a few weeks of firing everyone, alienating advertisers and generally gutting Twitter, Elon [Look at me] Musk has announced that he is looking for someone else to run things.
Musk relaunches its Twitter Blue verification service
Will probably U turn on it next week
Supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk tweeted that the media platform will relaunch its Twitter Blue verification service on 29 November.
Musk fires engineer for correcting him on Twitter
“Free speech” means agreeing with me tiny human
Self-proclaimed free speech advocate Elon [look at me] Musk has fired a Twitter engineer for correcting him.
Twitter fires 5,500 contractors
Humans are disposable
Twitter fired between 4,400 and 5,500 workers over the weekend by email. The job cuts follow layoffs that culled about half of Twitter’s workforce and slashed 15 percent of its trust and safety team.
Musk follows Liz Truss's economic policy for Twitter
Warns that bankrupcy is a possibility
Self-proclaimed business genius Elon [look at me] Musk is finding running Twitter a lot more difficult than he thought and is warning that he might have to shut it down.
Musk fires two pregnant women
Beats tying them to the railway track
Elon [look at me] Musk is in hot water after two of the Twitter people he tossed into the cold and snow before Christmas happened to be pregnant.
Musk begs fired staff to come back
You know that firing staff was only me trying to get into the news right?
Supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk has found that his brilliant plan to fix Twitter by firing half the employees is fast backfiring and he has asked some of them back.
More than a million have exited Twitter
Fears it will end up like Parler or Truth Social
Elon [look at me] Musk's arrival at Twitter has resulted in a mass exodus of more than a million users who fear it will be come yet another home for right-wing wing-nuts who want to spread conspiracy stories and racially abuse those who are slightly left of Genghis Khan.
Musk fires Twitter board makes himself dictator
Then angers the far right by dressing up as Satan
Elon Musk has fired Twitter's board of directors and appointed himself its sole member and then managed to anger his new Twitter fanbase by showing up at a party dressed as Satan.