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Apple poaches Sony execs to improve TV service

by on19 June 2017

We need to get a few people from outside the reality distortion field

Fruity-Tax dodging cargo cult Apple has realised that if it is going to do well in the telly market, it is going to have to hire people from outside its reality distortion field.

Apple’s attempts at television programming have been woeful and are based on the fact it thinks that other people believe in its bullshit. For example, it actually commissioned reality show where people had to design Apps for Apple’s store called "Planet of the Apps". Only an Apple exec would be brainwashed enough to think that was a good idea.

So, in a rare moment of self awareness, Apple realised it was out of touch with reality. It hired two long-time Sony Pictures Television executives to expand the iPhone maker's push into original television programming.

Jamie Erlicht and Zack Van Amburg, responsible for hit shows such as "Breaking Bad," "Better Call Saul" and "The Crown" will join Apple in newly created positions to oversee all aspects of video programming.

Eddy Cue, Apple's senior vice president of Internet Software and Services, said: “Jamie and Zack are two of the most talented TV executives in the world and have been instrumental in making this the golden age of television.”

The new hires demonstrate a serious commitment by another deep-pocketed technology company to produce quality television shows. Erlicht and Van Amburg have served as senior Sony television executives since 2005.

It is not clear how long they will last, probably the same length of time I did working for the Queen at Windsor Castle.

Last modified on 19 June 2017
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