Police say that Troy George Skinner, 25, flew to Goochland County, Virginia, to reach the unnamed girl he had been interacting with online for several months.
He was upset that she no longer wanted to talk to him and he showed up with a knife, pepper spray, and some duct tape he had bought at a nearby Walmart, as you do.
Dressed in a black hoodie, he rang the doorbell and told the girl's mother, who was at home with both her teenage daughters, that he needed help and had been hitchhiking for 30 miles, we're told.
She refused to answer the door, prompting him to try to break into a basement door at the back of the house, it is claimed. At which point the mother – who had no idea of her daughter's online interactions – warned him she had a gun.
Now at this point if Skinner had any awareness of the real world, it was clearly out to lunch. If an American says he or she has a gun, it is almost certain that there will be a hail of bullets and someone is not going to feel very well at the end of it.
In this case, he was in her house, and he was six-foot-one, 275lb and throwing rocks through the window to gain entrance. So she shot him twice - once in the neck with her .22 pistol.
Finally realising that his cunning plan had failed, Skinner ran off but collapsed in a neighbour's front yard – which is where the cops said they found him shortly after.
Skinner is expected to survive and will be charged with breaking and entering with a deadly weapon with the intent to commit a serious offence. Federal charges are under consideration. It is unlikely he will ever see his Kiwi home in this incarnation.
We still don't have his side of the story. The press reports do not show if he even knew the girl's age, although she clearly told him his address. But showing up with pepper spray and a knife is not something you do when you first meet someone you think is your girlfriend's mum. It is funny the New Zealand press all question what he was doing in a community in which everyone had a gun. It seems odd to Kiwis, as armed people are not the first thing you worry about when going on a crime spree like this.
Normally this sort of crime turns into a screaming match with a few broken windows until the cops show up and arrest someone.