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Musk decides if the Pope shall exist or not

by on24 April 2023


Only by thy blue tick thou shalt know him

Supreme Twit Elon [Look at me] Musk is squaring off against the Vatican over Pope Francis and his officials right to exist on Twitter without them acknowledging the authority of his blue tick and paying up.

For those who came in late, Musk insisted that those who paid him eight dollars a month would get a blue tick on their accounts, confirming that they were who they said they were. Musk found that some obviously real accounts refused to pay up. So he adopted a policy where some accounts were allowed for free while others were not. This essentially turned into a situation, much like Wackypedia, where Musk decided who was real or not.

The Vatican, for the last few years, has been working on ways of earning more revenue—one of its methods involved in-housing the sale of Papal Blessings away from Roman tourist shops. The result was the closure of many local businesses even before Covid hit. All this tight-fistedness means that the Vatican was not likely to pay Musk for anything, let alone a blue tick.

Hacks working for Il Tempo noticed that Vatican sites did not have a blue tick and asked the Holy See what was happening. It appears that the Vatican thinks that Musk is bluffing.

A spokesVatican said that the Holy See trusts that they will soon have the certificate of the authenticity of the accounts.

"At present, Pontifex accounts certified with the old rules have more than 53 million followers," the spokesman reminded Musk.

In the old days, “a reminder” like that would mean a visit from the Inquisition (for some reason no one expects an Inquisition) resulting in Musk’s testicles being crushed by an appliance in one of the Vatican’s darker dungeons.

Sadly those days are gone and we doubt that Musk will care how many followers the Pope has as he can make them all go away with a flick of his algorithm

 

Last modified on 24 April 2023
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