Unless it pays him to acknowledge them

Supreme Twit, Elon [look at me] Musk has ruled that Apple’s favourite fanzine the New York Times does not exist.

Charlton Heston puts his vest on

Despite approval setbacks and killing more apes than Charlton Heston in Beneath the Planet of the Apes supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk wants to experiment on humans.

That is the sort of business genius he is

Red-faced supreme twit Elon [look at me] Musk has admitted that he has succeeded in reducing the value of Twitter by a half since he took over.

Because asking him questions is just asking for trouble

Supreme twit Elon [Look at me] Musk has shown his media genius by sacking his press office and dealing with any press queries by sending journalists an automatic poop emoji.

Tire fire of the vanities 

Not content with destroying Twitter, CEO Elon [look at me] Musk has found another shiny object to distract him from making money.

Public humiliation of disabled hero

Icelandic disabled icon Haraldur “Halli” Thorleifsson found himself at the end of Supreme Twit Elon [look at me] Musk’s tasteless jokes this week.

Worried he might not have enough staff left to protected data

Supreme Twit Elon [Look at me] Musk’s HR policy, which appears to involve firing everyone he sees, has fallen foul of the FTC.

Shedloads of tests still need to be done

Elon [look at me] Musk’s plans to install chips into everyone’s brains have been set back by those pesky government officials who have a few questions about how he planned to do it.

Plan 3 from outer space

Supreme rich twit Elon [look at me] Musk hit a new low at his Tesla investor day yesterday when he stood up and offered them nothing other than his glorious presence.

Oh look, another shiny thing

After dismissing AI as being “as dangerous as nukes” and flogging off his stake in OpenAI, thinking man’s prosciutto Elon [look at me] Musk has realised that he might have missed something and wants back in.