News - subcat

Reporters without Borders asks Apple to ditch its dodgy AI
Published in AI


Spat out fake news

Reporters without Borders has asked the fruity cargo cult Apple to ditch is dodgy AI after it incorrectly summarised a BBC news notification that suspected UnitedHealthcare CEO shooter Luigi Mangione had killed himself.

Apple users give Apple Intelligence the thumbs down
Published in AI


Total waste of time

The fruity cargo cult Apple’s self-styled reputation as an innovator is being battered like a Scottish mars bar over its luck-lustre approach to AI.

Apple shows AI aversion in App Awards
Published in News
Tuesday, 26 November 2024 09:42

Apple shows AI aversion in App Awards


So much for being at the forefront

While the Tame Apple Press claims that the fruity cargo cult is at the bleeding edge of AI with its late and lacklustre Apple Intelligence, the reality can be seen in the company’s App of the Year awards.

Apple announces new iMac with M4 chip
Published in News
Tuesday, 29 October 2024 11:35

Apple announces new iMac with M4 chip


Same design but with an "array of gorgeous new colors"

Apple has officially announced the new iMac, equipping it with the M4 SoC and giving it access to Apple Intelligence. Of course, Apple did not bother to change the design, but it did give it a few connectivity updates, a new nano-texture glass option for the 24-inch 4.5K Retina screen, and a new 12MP front camera.

Apple intelligence is delayed in Europe until Christmas
Published in Mobiles


Europeans are far too intelligent to accept this

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is starting to release products with its over-hyped  “Apple Intelligence” features, but it looks like it will not be seen in Europe until the end of the year.

Tame Apple Press admits that iPhone is dull
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 22 October 2024 09:49

Tame Apple Press admits that iPhone is dull


iPhone loses its shine

After years of talking up Apple’s iPhone, the Tame Apple Press is having to admit that the iPhone 16 is a dull product which needed to be a lot better.

Apple insiders admit that it is two years behind on AI
Published in AI


Not so cutting edge, after all

While Tame Apple Press claims that the fruity cargo cult is at the cutting edge of AI development, its staff knows it is two years behind everyone else.

Apple releases new iPad Mini
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 17 October 2024 11:35

Apple releases new iPad Mini


Mostly a spec bump

Apple, the fruity cargo cult, has just released a new iPad Mini with a faster A17 Pro chip that it claims supports Apple Intelligence.

iPhone 16 / Pro pre orders are low in EU
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 17 September 2024 11:54

iPhone 16 / Pro pre orders are low in EU


Preorders weaker than predecessor

Enthusiasm over the new iPhone 16 series with a new shutter button and unclear Apple Intelligence (AI) strategy led to much lower iPhone 16 preorder numbers compared to the iPhone 15 generation. The numbers are lower in the EU as well as worldwide.

Apple Intelligence is delayed
Published in News
Monday, 29 July 2024 11:37

Apple Intelligence is delayed


You probably were not expecting this

In a move that will surprise absolutely no one, the fruity cargo-cult Apple has decided to delay the release of its over-hyped Apple Intelligence.