Apple CEO Tim Cook is to meet Pope Francis in a meeting which will almost certainly see Cook attempt to convert him by offering in one or two of Apple’s famous gadgets. This is something we would like to see, the last person who tried to convert a Pope to a strange new religion was Giordano Bruno and he ended up as a crispy bacon substitute product in the Piazza Campo de' Fiori.
Pope Francis is less interested in the cargo cult that Cook is running. In fact he does not own a computer, or want one. He is more interested in using technology to help the poor. He has already spoken to Google’s Eric Schmidt and that conversation would have fitted Google’s own general plans. Apple on the other hand is famous for not giving out that many donations to anyone.
Cook might be a bit more of a tricky problem for the Pope. The Tame Apple Press thinks that they will talk about environmental issues because apparently “they are both keen environmentalists” however we really hope that Francis does not let him off that lightly.
Francis is an ardent critic of capitalism and inequality, and has snubbed Silicon Valley and the Bay Area, which is fast emerging as one of the most unequal regions in America.
However Cook is sitting on a huge cash pile which he basically got by using poor people to make gadgets which he then sells to rich people at an over inflated price.
Lately Cook has been peddling these same gadgets to poor people who can’t afford them at the same price he flogs them to rich people. If Dante had heard of people selling their kidneys to buy an iPhone which would be out of date in a year he would have invented a very special circle of hell for Cook and his cargo cult.
The Apple Cargo Cult promises that people will find happiness if they spend all their money on a product and then evangelise its merits to anyone who will listen. This dumbing down of world spirituality in favour of material possessions is exactly the sort of mentality which should sail up the nasal orifices of any spiritual leader.
The Tame Apple Press claims that Pope Francis needs Tim Cook to improve his street cred. Apparently Francis has been suffering because of all the sex abuse scandals that have rocked the Catholic Church. It is not clear how Cook would help with that, but the Tame Apple Press says it so it must be true.
