Pig fancying Prime Minister David “one is an ordinary bloke” Cameron has confirmed plans to enforce age verification systems on porn sites.

A public consultation has been launched today to discuss the best way to enforce the age restriction. It will be asking the usual range of retired colonels, nuns and Daily Mail writers along with internet service providers as to how it can be done.

The government is looking to put responsibility on the porn sites themselves and wants visitors to do more than enter their date of birth to prove they're 18 or older.

"It's up to the porn companies to come to us and say here's what we can do," they said. "The obvious one is credit cards, but some people are reluctant to putting their credit card details online."

Mmm it appears you might be creating a huge problem from a non-existent issue. It is particularly worrying for the adult content industry that Cameron’s witch-hunt only focuses on commercial operations. Sites which feature adult content but don’t make money from it will be exempt. The same will apply to foreign sites.

What this means of course is that it will become hugely difficult for legit adult websites to exist in the UK – which we guess is St David’s idea.

So how will this be policed? Well David wants the ISPs to run black lists of all those sites which don’t do what the government tells them to do. So far there is no indication how David’s government defines “porn” which we think would make an interesting day in Parliament.

Apparently this is all to protect someone else’s children from having an understanding of sex which is not in accord with the Tory party manifesto i.e. between two married people, wearing pyjamas with the lights off. Of course Tory members of parliament will still be able to visit brothels where they will pay thousands be humiliated and beaten by women with whips as they have for hundreds of years.