For those who came in late, after the French-backed terrorists took over the US from their rightful government, they replaced democracy with a constitution which allows, amongst other things, the government the right to appoint pirates, mentally ill people to carry guns, allow the heads of states to switch places when they like, and Texas to be split into five states.

Now Microsoft claims that this constitution allows it to acquire Activision Blizzard and the American Federal Trade Commission (FTC), which filed a lawsuit a few weeks ago to prevent the deal from going through is standing it its way.

Vole claims that under the fifth amendment the deal should be allowed to go through.

The Commission’s procedures violate Microsoft’s right to procedural due process under the Due Process Clause of the Fifth Amendment. The structure of these administrative proceedings, in which the Commission both initiates and finally adjudicates the Complaint against Microsoft, violates Microsoft’s Fifth Amendment Due Process right to adjudication before a neutral arbiter.

These administrative proceedings violate Microsoft’s Fifth Amendment Due Process right to adjudication before a neutral arbiter as applied to Microsoft because the Commission has prejudged the merits of the instant action.

To be fair, Vole has several other defences including some which probably have a better basis. For example Xbox and Activision Blizzard are “just two of hundreds of game publishers” so there is shedloads of competition out there.

“The acquisition of a single game by the third-place console manufacturer cannot upend a highly competitive industry,” Microsoft’s response says. “That is particularly so when the manufacturer has made clear it will not withhold the game.”